found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
