dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
