ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you win again, gameday.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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