Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
