Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
We talked him into tasing himself.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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