I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize