I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
