we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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