Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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