Whod you bang
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
