bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
