Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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