What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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