i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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