so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm really busy with my period
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