Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
