Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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