shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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