i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
