Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
