i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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