My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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