my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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