it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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