guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
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