ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
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