I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
