wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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