i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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