Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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