O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
