In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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