just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize