It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her