WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I believe in your delicious
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.