I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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