Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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