just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
