textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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