so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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