Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(843): View more from South Carolina

His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.

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(843): His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked. http://tfl.nu/h1xn

Replies (17) Good night (3882) Bad night (628)
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(815): View more from Illinois

I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials

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(815): I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials http://tfl.nu/tg93

Replies (11) Good night (971) Bad night (3357)
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(614): View more from Ohio

hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked

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(614): hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked http://tfl.nu/5a6g

Replies (15) Good night (1002) Bad night (3916)
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(818): View more from California

remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,

(702): View more from Nevada

Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.

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(818): remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it, (702): Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch. http://tfl.nu/x8zx

Replies (116) Good night (6465) Bad night (12140)
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(518): View more from New York

Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.

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(518): Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy. http://tfl.nu/6ng1

Replies (5) Good night (3843) Bad night (797)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?

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(724): Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle? http://tfl.nu/1h10

Replies (8) Good night (2641) Bad night (1212)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....

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(248): Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs.... http://tfl.nu/1yzr

Replies (19) Good night (2812) Bad night (1059)
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(716): View more from New York

Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom

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(716): Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom http://tfl.nu/6fnb

Replies (3) Good night (2104) Bad night (761)
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(469): View more from Texas

I can feel my moral fiber fraying.

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(469): I can feel my moral fiber fraying. http://tfl.nu/8494

Replies (2) Good night (1239) Bad night (478)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.

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(479): Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes. http://tfl.nu/b7x1

Replies (22) Good night (1371) Bad night (660)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.

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(603): His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice. http://tfl.nu/yv8x

Replies (1) Good night (1062) Bad night (379)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.

(213): View more from California

I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.

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(773): Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA. (213): I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars. http://tfl.nu/q1ju

Replies (15) Good night (1718) Bad night (571)
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(815): View more from Illinois

I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit

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(815): I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit http://tfl.nu/a7ne

Replies (13) Good night (856) Bad night (483)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.

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(919): Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face. http://tfl.nu/tvg8

Replies (1) Good night (875) Bad night (433)
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(925): View more from California

You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub

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(925): You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub http://tfl.nu/o6o5

Replies (0) Good night (324) Bad night (145)

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