i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest