and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?