just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Two words: nipple clamps
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