I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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