i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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