I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
