How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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