I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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