i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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