If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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