yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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