I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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