Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just want nice things and good sex
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
