WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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