last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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