I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
