Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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