Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
40s are totally the cure
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
