I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
