So drunk, too bad you don't want this
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
