This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
