I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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