I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
