he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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