Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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