Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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