The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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